Parenting and Discipline

I wanted to stray away from my original kind of post and I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot lately. This topic that has been on my mind is discipline and how I am going to discipline and when I am going to discipline. Believe me I know that punishing Savannah is not going to be an easy thing to do especially because her eyes are so beautiful but I know that in the long run it will benefit Savannah.

When I was growing up my parents did not take any crap from me and I thank them for that. I don’t think I would be the same person I am today without the structure that my parents set up in my life and it makes me appreciative for the way they chose to raise me. I know that that discipline is the reason for why I am so honest and the reason that I have so much respect for others and that is something that I was to instill into Savannah’s life.

I found 10 ways of disciplining children that I agreed with, and notice that there is no spanking on the list, I am not for spanking because I think it just makes the child fear their parents and I always want my children to know that they can trust me and come to me about anything even something they did wrong and that they don’t have to be scared to do so. The list below I found at LiveStrong,com and if you want just read them over and think of the ones you would like to use in your parenting styles.

Time Out

“A time out is an extremely common technique that can be used anywhere. It’s wise to choose a certain corner or chair at home so kids know to go directly there when issued a time out. “Focus on the Family” recommends assigning one minute for each year of the child’s age because too much time assigned minimizes the purpose of sitting alone to think about whatever wrong choice landed them there.”
I like this technique because it gives both yourself and the child sometime to calm down before you talk to them about what happened but something both my husband and I agree on is that children should never be sent to their room for timeout especially if they have toys or electronics in their room. (Having electronics in a child’s room is also something my husband and I do not want to happen because it is just a disaster waiting to happen.) It will not be a punishment if they can distract themselves while they are supposed to be thinking about what they have done wrong so a time-out should be somewhere like at the bottom of the stairs or on a dining room chair.

Distraction

“Distracting a child or removing them from the situation is very helpful, especially for kids under two. Until their second birthday, children cannot quite understand consequences, so distraction is key for the little ones. If your child keeps pulling papers from your desk, you simply need to move him away from the desk and distract him with another toy or snack.”
I think that knowing this will keep me from getting frustrated.

Grounding

“Grounding kids from their favorite activities is a huge motivator for good behavior. Young kids can be grounded from playing outside for a few hours while older kids can be grounded from leaving the house for a few days.”
One thing that my husband is big on is meaning what you say like if you give your child a warning that if they don’t listen they will not be able to go to their friends house and then if the child continues to not listen than you have to go through with the punishment or the child will know that you are just full of words but no actions and they will not respect you but I know that this will be a hard thing for me to do because I don’t like to upset people especially those who I love but I know that in the long run it will be good for my relationship with my children.

Deny Privileges

“Taking away privileges is a technique along the same lines as grounding; you simply “ground” a child from her favorite toy or activity in the house. Taking away television time or video games motivates kids to make the right behavioral choices; just be sure to “choose a meaningful privilege that your child will greatly miss,” according to “Focus on the Family.”"
I think this is a good punishment because it teaches children that the objects in their lives are privileges and they earn them with good behavior and that they do not have a right to things.

Natural Consequences

“Teaching children about natural consequences helps them learn that there are rules not only in the nuclear family but also in the whole world. If Timmy refuses to do his homework, instead of taking away his television time, you can allow him to choose not to do it while explaining the trouble he’ll face in school. If he still doesn’t budge, allow the failing grade or the scolding from the teacher to serve as a reminder of the consequences of his actions.”
These are important consequences because they teach children that there aren’t just consequences to their actions at home but there are consequences to their actions every where.

Logical Consequences

“This technique is recommended by “Focus on the Family” to show kids that they have to be responsible for their choices. For example, if Anna kicks the soccer ball in the house even though it’s against the rules and breaks a window, she has to help clean it up and work off a certain amount of money to replace the window by doing chores around the house.”
I like this too because it teaches children responsibility and to take responsibility for their actions.

Model Good Behavior

“When teaching a child between right and wrong, many disciplinary actions can be avoided by modeling good behavior to your children. In his book, “Bringing Up Boys,” Dr. James Dobson writes, “there is no substitution for parental modeling of the attitudes we wish to teach.” If siblings frequently get in trouble for yelling at each other, make sure to keep your temper and your yelling under control to demonstrate what you expect from them. Discipline is about teaching rather than punishing; any form of instruction motivates children to behave.”
This is so important because children do watch everything we do and especially with yelling, you need to teach your children to communicate in a healthy way but if you are always yelling to communicate with them than that is how they will communicate with you.

Positive Reinforcement

“Many parents forget about this technique of catching children in the act of being good. If little Jack is playing nicely with his toys in his room while you fold laundry, peek your head in and tell him how much you appreciate his good behavior. Children love attention and will be motivated to make their parents proud if they sense their proper behavior gets them noticed.”
I also think that this technique is a great way to help your child’s self-esteem go in a good direction because they will know that they are not the only person who sees them do good but other people know the good things they can do instead of only getting negative reinforcement which will teach them that they are bad children and can do nothing good.

Ignore

“Although it can be frustrating, ignoring a whining child can sometimes be the easiest way to get her to stop. Children learn very quickly that simply annoying you for a period of time may get them what they want. Rather than give into their fits, ignore their pleas for attention. This also works well for sibling arguments; unless one or both are at risk of getting hurt, let your children figure it out themselves.”
I have never heard of this one being taught especially during a fight between children but it is something I will consider trying with my kids when they are older because it sounds like something that might work especially if they are throwing a tantrum because they want something they can’t have.

Rewards

“Reality host of “Supernanny” Jo Frost is a firm believer in rewarding kids for their good behavior. She uses all kinds of techniques like sticker charts, treat jars and the accumulation of television time to motivate children to make the right choices. Understand the fine line between reward and bribery; you should not say, “If you stop whining for this cereal, I’ll buy it for you.” Whining is not a reward-worthy behavior.”
I love Supernanny because it teaches me so much and makes me think so much about what kind of parent I want to be and sometimes it is easy for me to convince myself that I am just going to be their friend but children need someone who can be their friend but who can also be the boss.

I took a couple child development classes and I have watched a lot of the Supernanny shows but I know that I am no expert at parenting so you can decide to either take or leave my advice.  I think that it is a lot easier to learn to be a parent from experience more than reading a book and my 3 month old does not need much discipline (I don’t discipline her at all just in case you were wondering) right now but I am hoping the things I know now will help aid in my future disciplining so that I can keep order in my house and in my children’s lives.

It’s sure going to be hard to punish this beautiful little girl!